Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Sabrinas story.
Sabrina’s story
The following interview took place with a school age student, within the past year. An adult was present, the subjects name has been changed, and material clues removed. The writer is a Journalist with thirty years media experience, and is a member of required professional bodies and organizations. To protect the anonymity of all parties, the writers name is also withheld.
My first impression of Sabrina was how scantily dressed she was. At thirteen I thought she could be a little bit more, well - reserved, or girlish. Maybe Im getting prudish, but then again I have a fourth grader, and a 20 year old, both of whom keep me current with fashion trends.
Sabrina made Hanna Montanna’s dress code look like Ms. MooMoo at Goodwill.
I wasn’t intending to judge Sabrina, it just took me by surprise thats all.
This was the outfit she had been wearing that day at Junior High, not what she was going to wear on a girls night out.
But it wasn’t Sabrinas fashion tips I was after, it was her drink and drug habits.
Sabrinas story was about to unfold.
“You know what? (sic) I can get booze at school, and a school aide sometimes brings in pot.” she boasted.
The pot was no surprise, although I thought a school aide should be helping to teach rather than dealing.
“How does the booze get in?” I asked.
“Theres this homeless old man who hangs around the school property; I think he lives somewhere near the grounds. Anyway, he is always hanging around, and he always gets alcohol for us. Theres always something in it for him, besides, I think he likes hanging around with us girls.” she smirked.
“Do you know how many students are being treated for STD’s?” she challenged.
I squirmed at this, since my brief had been to discuss drugs and alcohol at school. I had been blind-sided by this diversion to a sexual topic.
Sharon, the assisting chaperone for the interview, rolled her eyes, but in a way that I knew was not a signal to cease the gentle questioning.
“What made you mention STD’s Sabrina?” I asked.
“Well, its like amazing, right? So much, like, stuff going on at school.”
“So, how many of your friends use drugs, and drink ?” I asked.
“Well its not like EVERYDAY...” she protested. (I used to talk to my parents like that, to make the the subject matter less intense.)
“So how often to you ‘partake”?” I posited.
“I don’t know exactly, but its whenever I feel like it. Like whenever...”
“What do you drink?” I asked her.
“ Wine is big; and cheap. Beer too. You’ve no idea how cheap some places sell it for. You can get a lot of vodka too, in a plastic bottle. Doesn’t clink and chink”.
“Have you ever been buzzed in class?” I asked.
“Yeah, often. But when I go home it wears off. Sometimes I smoke some more, if I’m hanging with friends later, but I don’t go out much in the weekday evening.”
“My mom used to drink and do drugs A LOT; not so much now. Her (estranged) boyfriend smokes (pot) all evening. He blows it in my face - thinks thats funny - I pretend its not cool.”
“He has a business, and its not doing too good right now - in fact, he’s not doing too good. Collectors keep calling. Some nights, I cant keep count of how much he and his (current) girlfriend drink. Its odd I should be counting. Its him who should be doing the counting, right?” ” Im really gonna clean up. Really, so I can show my Mom.
Shes’all: “you’ll never stop while your with those friends.
Im’all: ”yes I can, just you watch me”
”We always end up shouting at each other. Neighbors bang on the wall.
Besides, I want to actually DO something with my life, not waste it like mom, who cant stay stopped for long.“
“My granddad says he’s not surprised I am like I am, cuz my mom started young...I think he meant being with boys, as well as drinking.”” You-know-what? Everybody’s doin’ it. Like f---ing n’all. There are condoms, no one I know uses them..like blowin’ doesnt count, right? (Back to drugs please Sabrina...)
Drugs at school are no big deal, pot’s not exactly crack and meth. I dont think i’d ‘do’ either of those, cuz thats plain dumb.
I got this friend, her teeth are falling out. And her skin! Its like spots and scabs. Its like Ew!”
“Somedays, she’s all phsycho. As if we (teens) don’t have enough problems with skin and faces.” “Somedays I wonder why our teachers aren’t more onto all this. Then, I realize that just keeping order in our big class is hard enough. They’ve probably got their own problems, right?
About 40 minutes had passed, since we had started into the “subject matter” I was thinking how sad it was that Sabrina head such an old head on her shoulders. I wondered were her childhood had gone.
“So, Sabrina, who the heck do you talk to, or go to about all this stuff? Mom? A teacher?”
“Thats so lame; like uncool. Im grown up, right? I mean, what does mom know about anything? I mean we are friends and all that, she is my mom, after all. We just try to get along when we go shopping. Like, she is my friend, she told me about my period, and to ‘be careful...’ but in the end, Im thinking ‘what does she know? She can be real cool sometimes; then there are time she’s real dumb. She owes on credit cards, and they’re always calling on her cell, like when are you going to pay (the bill)?”
“Sabrina, do you think theres a problem at your school?” As soon as the words left my lips, I realized how fatuous they were...
“Heck no! S’long as we get our homework done, and don’t hurt anybody, why is it a problem? You did drugs, right? The SIXTIES, right?” She smirked again, hazarding an accurate guess at my 50-something years. Actually, I told her that there was only an hardcore of cigarette smokers at my public school...I also told her that we were not comparing schools .. and that parents like me are very concerned about what goes on in our precious idyl called Santa Barbara.
“Wow, yeah...” Sabrina feigned some sort of serious concern.
“So, what if YOU were the parent, and it was YOUR kids doing all this at school here?”
I asked.
“Its like I said, its everywhere, its not like we drink hard all day, and pot just isn’t a problem. You can stop - just like that. I know I can, just like that”
Sabrina clicked her fingers in the air like a magician, then smiled an unconvincing Lolita smile.
By that I mean the smile was hollow, the Lolita character was frighteningly real.
The following interview took place with a school age student, within the past year. An adult was present, the subjects name has been changed, and material clues removed. The writer is a Journalist with thirty years media experience, and is a member of required professional bodies and organizations. To protect the anonymity of all parties, the writers name is also withheld.
My first impression of Sabrina was how scantily dressed she was. At thirteen I thought she could be a little bit more, well - reserved, or girlish. Maybe Im getting prudish, but then again I have a fourth grader, and a 20 year old, both of whom keep me current with fashion trends.
Sabrina made Hanna Montanna’s dress code look like Ms. MooMoo at Goodwill.
I wasn’t intending to judge Sabrina, it just took me by surprise thats all.
This was the outfit she had been wearing that day at Junior High, not what she was going to wear on a girls night out.
But it wasn’t Sabrinas fashion tips I was after, it was her drink and drug habits.
Sabrinas story was about to unfold.
“You know what? (sic) I can get booze at school, and a school aide sometimes brings in pot.” she boasted.
The pot was no surprise, although I thought a school aide should be helping to teach rather than dealing.
“How does the booze get in?” I asked.
“Theres this homeless old man who hangs around the school property; I think he lives somewhere near the grounds. Anyway, he is always hanging around, and he always gets alcohol for us. Theres always something in it for him, besides, I think he likes hanging around with us girls.” she smirked.
“Do you know how many students are being treated for STD’s?” she challenged.
I squirmed at this, since my brief had been to discuss drugs and alcohol at school. I had been blind-sided by this diversion to a sexual topic.
Sharon, the assisting chaperone for the interview, rolled her eyes, but in a way that I knew was not a signal to cease the gentle questioning.
“What made you mention STD’s Sabrina?” I asked.
“Well, its like amazing, right? So much, like, stuff going on at school.”
“So, how many of your friends use drugs, and drink ?” I asked.
“Well its not like EVERYDAY...” she protested. (I used to talk to my parents like that, to make the the subject matter less intense.)
“So how often to you ‘partake”?” I posited.
“I don’t know exactly, but its whenever I feel like it. Like whenever...”
“What do you drink?” I asked her.
“ Wine is big; and cheap. Beer too. You’ve no idea how cheap some places sell it for. You can get a lot of vodka too, in a plastic bottle. Doesn’t clink and chink”.
“Have you ever been buzzed in class?” I asked.
“Yeah, often. But when I go home it wears off. Sometimes I smoke some more, if I’m hanging with friends later, but I don’t go out much in the weekday evening.”
“My mom used to drink and do drugs A LOT; not so much now. Her (estranged) boyfriend smokes (pot) all evening. He blows it in my face - thinks thats funny - I pretend its not cool.”
“He has a business, and its not doing too good right now - in fact, he’s not doing too good. Collectors keep calling. Some nights, I cant keep count of how much he and his (current) girlfriend drink. Its odd I should be counting. Its him who should be doing the counting, right?” ” Im really gonna clean up. Really, so I can show my Mom.
Shes’all: “you’ll never stop while your with those friends.
Im’all: ”yes I can, just you watch me”
”We always end up shouting at each other. Neighbors bang on the wall.
Besides, I want to actually DO something with my life, not waste it like mom, who cant stay stopped for long.“
“My granddad says he’s not surprised I am like I am, cuz my mom started young...I think he meant being with boys, as well as drinking.”” You-know-what? Everybody’s doin’ it. Like f---ing n’all. There are condoms, no one I know uses them..like blowin’ doesnt count, right? (Back to drugs please Sabrina...)
Drugs at school are no big deal, pot’s not exactly crack and meth. I dont think i’d ‘do’ either of those, cuz thats plain dumb.
I got this friend, her teeth are falling out. And her skin! Its like spots and scabs. Its like Ew!”
“Somedays, she’s all phsycho. As if we (teens) don’t have enough problems with skin and faces.” “Somedays I wonder why our teachers aren’t more onto all this. Then, I realize that just keeping order in our big class is hard enough. They’ve probably got their own problems, right?
About 40 minutes had passed, since we had started into the “subject matter” I was thinking how sad it was that Sabrina head such an old head on her shoulders. I wondered were her childhood had gone.
“So, Sabrina, who the heck do you talk to, or go to about all this stuff? Mom? A teacher?”
“Thats so lame; like uncool. Im grown up, right? I mean, what does mom know about anything? I mean we are friends and all that, she is my mom, after all. We just try to get along when we go shopping. Like, she is my friend, she told me about my period, and to ‘be careful...’ but in the end, Im thinking ‘what does she know? She can be real cool sometimes; then there are time she’s real dumb. She owes on credit cards, and they’re always calling on her cell, like when are you going to pay (the bill)?”
“Sabrina, do you think theres a problem at your school?” As soon as the words left my lips, I realized how fatuous they were...
“Heck no! S’long as we get our homework done, and don’t hurt anybody, why is it a problem? You did drugs, right? The SIXTIES, right?” She smirked again, hazarding an accurate guess at my 50-something years. Actually, I told her that there was only an hardcore of cigarette smokers at my public school...I also told her that we were not comparing schools .. and that parents like me are very concerned about what goes on in our precious idyl called Santa Barbara.
“Wow, yeah...” Sabrina feigned some sort of serious concern.
“So, what if YOU were the parent, and it was YOUR kids doing all this at school here?”
I asked.
“Its like I said, its everywhere, its not like we drink hard all day, and pot just isn’t a problem. You can stop - just like that. I know I can, just like that”
Sabrina clicked her fingers in the air like a magician, then smiled an unconvincing Lolita smile.
By that I mean the smile was hollow, the Lolita character was frighteningly real.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
What is a sobriety coach and why might you need one?
One often reads in the news about people who have been ...
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